


Worth the Wait

by Batgirl_xcv



Category: Actor RPF, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Smut, Mutual Pining, RPF, Sexual Tension, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 16:11:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20342950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batgirl_xcv/pseuds/Batgirl_xcv
Summary: Bucky may be superhuman but the man behind the mask not so much, a hero? Definitely, just ask one fan and they’ll agree but even heroes become tired and have self doubt it’s what makes you human.As Sebastian continues a life post Marvel a void begins to consume him, let alone the thought that his birthday is looming.When you just want - need - that one person to make everything right.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Said I'd never post anything I write, this happened. 
> 
> Disclaimer (probably a good idea). None of the events are real just 100% pure fiction, nor are the comments made with absolutely no intention to cause offence or harm against the actors.

Since the completion of the current Marvel universe adjusting to life post this era had been a struggle. It had been a major part of the Sebastian’s life for the past near decade forming close friendships on and off of the film set, familiarity and a sense of safety with nostalgia encompassing so many passing thoughts brought on from fan meetings, movie promotions and remaining friendships still intact despite the multitude of directions in which cast mates had taken. A life after Marvel. He may have not ended his role as the iconic James Buchanan Barnes however it felt like the end with so many faces never showing up to set again. No more Downey lunches, Evans humour and pranks with Mackie, the little things that had brought enjoyment to often difficult endless hours of work; knowing they were there, or often not far away even if they weren't needed on set the trailers were located close together, a unity of people from all backgrounds. A family.

And that is what he missed the most, the feeling of being wanted surrounded by these people.  
Of course he’d seen some of the cast at events, Hiddleston, Lizzie, Mackie, Hemsworth. But one name, one persons presence was absent, not just from these events but a large void left in his life on a daily basis and that was in the – _godly_\- shape of one Chris Evans. The one person he’d formed a close friendship with, a natural connection and mutual understanding. He may have been the quieter philosophical half of the friendship with Chris’s loud Boston self making up for the remaining half but they bounced off each other effortlessly through press tours, on set and off whether it was over coffee discussing old movies or drunk in a karaoke bar pressed far too close together as they dared each other what to perform. Even the minute things reminded Sebastian of this void; Chris remembering how he takes his coffee, how he just knew when Sebastian was having an off day full of worry and self doubt and without a word he knew how to help; to turn the darkest of days into something brighter, the clouds slowly fading the more he was around.

It was also widely known that Chris found large events a trigger of anxiety and his current filming schedule meant he’d not been available for the last event in San Diego as it was, not that he’d told Sebastian this but it was through management informing him Chris would not be in attendance; Sebastian’s last text to the other man being left on read for 3 weeks and 5 days _not_ that he was counting or anything, he knew the man was busy but something about it continued to leave him feeling unsettled. Chris was busy but hearing nothing for so long wasn’t exactly reassuring considering Chris’s last message to him was that he missed his company and the current set he was on didn’t feel the same without his Bucky._ His._

His reply had been a simple - _I miss you too pal, meet up soon? I’ll be in NY – S_

To which had been read almost instantly but not a single word back. Not that it was unusual for Chris to reply a day or so later but weeks later was odd, and his frequent Twitter activity (discovered by Seb’s curiosity following the infamous Thirst Tweets interview) had left him feeling somewhat dejected. Luckily with a busy filming schedule and frequent travel had distracted these thoughts marginally.

Currently sitting in an armchair within the hotel room, phone in hand, Sebastian gazes out towards the New York bustling atmosphere tempted to throw on a cap and wander the streets anonymous to the population going about their lives. As much as he adores his fans and their enthusiasm there was something gratifying about the ability to explore and rediscover these places alone, at his own pace just feeling human, buying a coffee, taking photos of moments, choosing a new book in a store, just simple things he’d never take for granted.

He had not long returned from one of his frequent gym sessions with his good friend and trainer of seven years; it’d been a tough session but rewarding; for someone gradually approaching forty he was proud of his level of fitness and determination despite recently feeling less than motivated, but, as any other person, he’s only human. Bucky may be superhuman but the man behind the mask not so much, a hero? Definitely, just ask one fan and they’ll agree but even heroes become tired and have self doubt it’s what makes you human. So the photo currently lit up on his phone screen, which had been for the past half hour, was a reminder that not every day is good, _but_ capture those good days, and, today, for the most part, had been a good day, he felt strong, toned. Yet the thought of uploading this particular photo to over four million people was terrifying, mainly in fear that fans far and wide would see this as the ideal of a perfect physique, of vanity and superficiality yet that was the complete opposite to what he wanted. One single press of a button and it would be live to see. With a deep breath he reads back over the caption he has meticulously written and rewritten, zooming in on the photo, a light frown between his brows as he casts his eyes across what was the result of his hard work, _was it enough?_ He worries, his knee bouncing slightly with an anxiety as he stands to walk over to the large window to glance down at the street. He needs fresh air, so with that he throws on the nearest cap he can find, grabs his rucksack and heads for the door, pausing to look down at his phone once more, and in a feat of confidence presses the dreaded share button. As quick as the photo is uploaded his phone is pocketed and he’s in the elevator desperate to just walk and feel himself.

Whilst walking, mainly undetected, he feels his phone vibrate on and off in his pocket. He heads into a coffee bar he’d frequented before knowing it was a quiet safe place to just relax for a while, the staff there respecting his need for privacy. He reluctantly pulls his phone out scanning the screen to see a text from Mackie – _Seabass! Looking like a snack my man a real snack_. He smiles to himself shaking his head at the hilarity of his friend, what was it with food these days? Snacks? Pistachios? He must be missing something he muses whilst reading a couple of messages from his current cast-mates. However, one name stands out like Bucky in Wakanda. _Chris_. Suddenly feeling anxiety creep up he takes a sip of his coffee, not that caffeine really helps this situation, and with slightly trembling fingers hovers over the notification before opening the message, holding his breath the entire time.

_You’re so beautiful man I’m jealous. Seriously Seb proud of u x – C_

He blinks rapidly, eyes widening as he reads and rereads the message over and over as if the words are going to change the more he reads it. Whether it was the caffeine, anxiety or the sudden increase in his pulse rate his fingers type over the empty message before his brain catches up with him.

_Thank you. I’m trying my best but coming from you it means a lot. You’re still a god though Evans I'll never match you. - S_

And with that –_ stupidly_ risky – message sent he nervously closes the application. You’re an idiot. An actual idiot. He rolls his eyes at his own mind and reluctantly loads the dreaded page in which he’d uploaded the photo to, dumbfounded to discover a million people had reacted to his photo, thousands of comments many of which make him blush but some which make him feel proud -

_“Proud of him for sharing his growth and I hope he gets the praise for letting himself be vulnerable”_

_“Motivation”_

_“Thank you for being so real”_

He _was_ proud of his achievements but a lack of self confidence was something he’d grown accustomed to, plaguing his mind more than he’d like to admit to both himself and those around him especially close friends and family, doubting if he was doing enough, putting in enough work, if _he_ was enough. With his upcoming thirty seventh birthday in only a matter of days these thoughts had become more and more prevalent despite willing himself to rid the thoughts and celebrate another year of his existence and achievements with those he cared for and loved most even if constant filming and travelling had left him in a less than celebratory mood. But, it is moments like these that ground him, overcoming anxiety to upload the photo, share himself in a way with the world he had not felt comfortable to do so for a long time. And the fact that Chris had clearly somehow seen the photo sent an involuntary shiver through his body. His phone vibrates once more, the man in questions name reappearing.

_Don’t be so hard on yourself. I mean it Seb, if anyone's a god its you. - C_

As he’s about to reply another message follows.

_When can I see you? X – C_

All the anxiety of Chris disappearing on him fades as soon as he reads the message. He hastily types out a response.

_I’m in NY now for a week what about you? - S_

He sends the message and sips his coffee awaiting a response. Ten minutes, nothing. Twenty. After half hour of repeatedly checking his phone he sighs, grabs his bag and heads back out onto the streets suddenly feeling exhausted despite physically doing very little.

Once back in his hotel room its mid afternoon, he heads to shower leaving his phone to charge. Upon re-entering the room a short while later the familiar jingle of his ringer echoes from the dresser, he quickly picks up after several rings -

“Hello?”

“Hey it’s my best guy and all time hero.” The oh so familiar voice teases, Sebastian’s face burning up instantly as he uses his free arm to wrap his towel tighter around his waist before sitting on the edge of the bed. “Chris?” he responds as he picks at non existent lint on the towel.

A soft laugh travels down the phone “The one and only.” He says with a clear smile on his face.

Sebastian laughs running a hand through his damp hair. The line remains silent for several moments, luckily Chris doesn’t seem to notice as he continues to speak “So.. you’re in New York?” he asks.

He nods, not that Chris can see which makes him once again roll his eyes at his own stupidity. “Yeah, I’m not needed for a bit so thought I’d come back here to rest.”

“I get that.” Chris replies understandingly, his voice soft with concern; he imagines Chris also nodding on the other end of the phone, frowning like he does when he becomes worried.

“You – you, uh.. saw that photo then?” Seb asks awkwardly, the room suddenly feeling 100°c hotter despite being practically undressed.

“Of course I did! Man you’re seriously trying to kill me. What was it Mackie said? Killing all the ladies? Well count me in.” Chris laughs whole heartedly, a full on left boob grab moment.

“Thank you.” he replies barely a whisper, afraid to say anything more at the risk of him making more of a fool out of himself.

“You’re welcome, I mean it, you know I’m proud of you. I know I've been a shitty friend recently but you're always on my mind, God I miss you Seb.” Chris sighs. _He wishes he could see him._

Sebastian remains quiet for a few moments “I miss you too Chris.” he says genuinely “You know when I first started filming a few weeks back I almost expected you to turn up its stupid I know but -”

“No its not, I’ve felt the same. It’s weird not having you here or Downey or Scarlett you're my family.” Chris replies, his voice a little strained.

The other man nods understandingly, a sudden wave of emotion rising high in his chest “So – where – where are you now? On set?”

“No, no actually I’m on my way to see someone thought I’d call you seeing as we’re in the same time zone for the first time in forever.” He responds.

_Someone who_. Sebastian can’t help but feel a little jealous knowing someone else will have his friends company.

He forces all emotion aside, the last thing he wants is Chris thinking he’s done something wrong when he really hasn’t, of course he’s allowed to see who he likes. “You know I’ll always answer you even at 3am Chris, you're my friend. Best friend.” He answers, because its true, he had – and would lose sleep if it meant Chris was okay, hell he’d drop filming if he needed to for Chris that’s how much he cared for the other man.

“So – how do you feel like a Cap and Bucky reunion?” Chris teases, clearly smiling.

Seb frowns slightly as he processes the question from his friend. “You’re coming back to Marvel?”

Chris laughs that warm genuine laugh Sebastian had come to love. “No, I mean you never know – but what I meant was – right now? Me, you and some food? How about it?”

Sebastian’s eyes widen, his heart rate again suddenly picking up “You’re here? In New York?!” He questions, his voice an octave too high to hide his surprise.

Chris chuckles clearly hearing his friends surprise too. “Cant miss my best buddies birthday can I? Come on Seb you don’t think I’d forget do you?”

Seb shrugs. “I mean – I’d hope not but we’ve both been busy I don't expect anything I was just gonna order pizza and hide out in my hotel room.” Being honest with himself he hadn’t really thought about his impending birthday in a few days, he just wanted to rest and feel himself again before having to go back on set.

Chris’ voice cuts through his thoughts. “I’ll never forget you Seb I love – I love spending time with you its important to me and I feel like I’ve fucked up the last few months I’ve barely been around.”

Once again he’s hit with a wave of emotion as his chest tightens “It’s okay.” He replies, the words coming out noticeably quieter.

“It’s not Seb, it’s not with me. I care about you. So you gonna let me know where you're at or what?” Chris responds, sounding annoyed? But at what? Sebastian worries, his leg bouncing beneath the towel as anxiety continues to build. Regardless he reels off his hotel location, one he, Chris and Mackie had frequented several years prior during press tours for Civil War.

“Sweet I’ll let you know when my car pulls up.” Chris ends the call before he even has a chance to reply.

Now feeling exposed sitting in a towel Sebastian sends a message off to his manager that he’ll have company just to make sure he’s not dragged out for some impromptu meeting or dinner. Although the thought of being reunited with Chris currently felt as nerve-wracking as a business meeting or audition. It wasn’t that he was worried seeing Chris again, far from it in fact, the worry was that Chris would read him like a book, his emotions transparent; he may not necessarily wear his heart on his sleeve but around Chris all reservations faded, instead a degree of exposure and vulnerability around the other man, his best friend of a decade.

Conflicted on what to wear he eventually settles on a safe outfit staple of black jeans and a fitted grey tee, leaving his hair ruffled from the towel, it wasn’t exactly long currently so required minimal effort. Resuming position in the armchair facing the street below, he places his phone on the arm rest, not wanting it out of sight not knowing how long Chris was going to take, should he turn up at all._ He will. He said so_. After several moments he allows himself to close his eyes still feeling rather exhausted and not wanting to be bad company to his friend.  
After what feels like an eternity later, yet in reality is just over an hour, his phone vibrates from its place on the chair dropping to the wooden floor below with an echoing thud consequently awakening Sebastian, who, startled by the sudden noise throws a hand over his chest whilst reaching down for his still vibrating phone.

“Hello?” He answers a little breathless as his heart rate slowly returns to normal.

“Finally man I was getting worried. Thought you’d been snapped!” The other man chuckles softly.

Sebastian sits up straighter, rubbing a hand over his face to rid all traces of sleep. “Chris! No no I… fell asleep, I’m sorry. Is everything okay?”

Chris audibly breathes out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god, yeah I’m just waiting at that pizza place you love so much the one you told fans to visit.”

“You remembered that?” He can’t help but smile, feeling a warmth spread through his body.

“Of course I did man, like I said you’re important. Just stay awake and I’ll be there in half hour.”

“Yes Captain.” He teases, a mixture of excitement and nerves running through his veins.

Every minute goes by so slowly time may as well have stopped hence twenty eight minutes later Sebastian anxiously paces up and down the window, not that it faces the entrance so knowing when Chris was approaching remained unknown. Just breathe. He repeats to himself as his pulse continues to climb by the second, the soft noise of the TV acting as a failed distraction.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same disclaimer a before. 
> 
> And we all know The Covenant is Seb's favourite movie right? Right.

The pizza place as it turns out isn’t too far away from the location of the hotel Sebastian is staying in. Chris had already double checked the name thanks to plenty of fan videos plastered over social media. Having a break from filming hadn’t been the plan _exactly _but he knew his friends birthday was approaching and having a guilty conscience for neglecting one of his most important friendships for the past few months was beginning to eat away at his mind. Sebastian _had_ reached out to him and was probably becoming overly anxious himself, knowing the man like Chris did, was what had prompted him to send the message after spotting the new photo as it made its way around Twitter; what a photo it was, delighting not just fans but Chris himself more that he’d ever like to admit. He’d always thought his friend was a good looking guy that was no secret, the Captain America: First Avenger interview with him blurting out Seb’s name rather than Hayley was much less of a joke to him. It wasn’t just his physical appearance that was attractive to Chris but it was his humble, genuine personality that constantly made Chris’ heart swell with overwhelming feelings for his friend and how he’d remained true to himself despite becoming so well known over the past decade; it was something he still aspired to be, but he knew he could never compete. He’d said endlessly how sweet Sebastian was, he was such a great guy, because it couldn’t be more true. What nobody really knew was how much Chris felt for his close friend, how it was beginning to consume him, hence distancing himself in a pathetic attempt to control his emotions; being out of control was something that scared him, and this was beginning to more than he’d ever imagined, so he kept it safely guarded behind a solid wall in his mind. Jeopardising their friendship because of how he felt was not an option he’d rather continue to deny how he felt, hell he’d lived with it for over half a decade what’s a few more years, or forever.

When he said he’d missed his co-star what he hadn’t told him was how much that void also consumed him, particularly when he was alone or at events with other guests. His reassuring smile that everything would be okay, a gentle hand on Chris’ shoulder when he could tell he was becoming overwhelmed or that he could look around a crowded room and relax knowing Sebastian was there, often looking straight back at him with that soft warmth and calmness he radiated.

After ending the call with a rather sleepy Sebastian he purchases his favourite pizza albeit feeling slightly guilty that he’d woken him up. _He probably wants to be alone you __dumbass__. _With a deep breath and feeling more nervous than he had been half an hour previously he enters the elevator in the hotel, pizza boxes and a few drinks in hand. All too soon the elevator comes to a soft halt as the doors open, Sebastian’s suite only a few paces down the corridor. He too remembers the Civil War days, memories of him, Sebastian and Mackie returning during the early hours of the morning after spending time at a bar consuming a few too many drinks. One moment in particular always remains firmly engrained in his mind -

_Sebastian had been trailing behind the trio with Mackie leaving for his room first. Chris had continued to walk to his room further down assuming Sebastian had still been following, yet, when he did turn a few seconds later the actor had been nowhere in sight, he’d walked – jogged – back down the hallway to find a kneeling familiar figure leaning against a wall, head in his hands – he’d looked up instantly at the sound of Chris’ footsteps. _

“_I’m sorry I just – needed a minute, feel weird.” Sebastian mumbled, bracing his hands on his knees. _

“_Come here I’ll help you up, not all of us are able to drink like Boston’s finest.” Chris had chuckled, not clearly feeling as bad as Sebastian already was. He’d known the man didn’t drink as often anymore having already declined offerings of nights out in the past. _

_Sebastian had held his hands out weakly looking up at Chris, grey-blue eyes filled with vulnerability but trusting his friend, which Chris had worked out was not easy for Sebastian. He had reached out to pull his co-star up, surprised by Sebastian’s tight grip on his hands as he rose to his feet a little unsteady. _

“_Thanks. Gonna regret this tomorrow, feel a bit sick.” He’d closed his eyes, leaning forward into Chris’ space. _

_Chris had made the instant decision that he wouldn’t leave Sebastian alone to suffer in his own room, he may not have been that drunk but he’d kick himself if anything happened to his friend. _

“_Hey – how about you come in my room? It’s nearer and I’ll hold your hair back if you puke.” He’d made a point of letting go of one of Sebastian’s hands and brushing it through his hair, tucking a few strands behind his ear, which, appeared to elicit a barely audible moan from the other man as his eyes remained closed. Chris squeezed lightly at the hand he was holding causing grey-blue eyes to fly open and stare wide eyed at him, a noticeable blush appearing on his cheeks. _

“_Y-yeah thanks man, it’s been a while since I drank this much.” He’d nodded, eyes darting to the floor. _

_Chris had tugged his hand once more. “Come on sleeping beauty, I’ll even let you take the bed you’re gonna need it more than me.” _

_Once inside the room Sebastian had made a beeline for the bed, almost face-planting comically as he dropped down on the mattress._

“_Ne-er lea-ing too com-fy” his muffled voice spoke through the pillow which earned a chuckle from Chris whilst he tried his hardest to not stare at his friends ass and broad shoulders through his fitted jeans and t-shirt. _

“_Here, let me -” He’d leant down to pull Sebastian’s boots off, causing the other man to instantly roll onto his side and curl up into himself, looking impossibly small and childlike. _

“_Thanks” His lips had curved into an almost shy smile as he glanced up to where Chris was standing with his boots in hand. _

“_Don’t mention it. I’ve got some water and tablets you’ll probably need them.” Chris had fetched the items from his bag and placed them on the nearest bedside table where Sebastian laid with his eyes closed, presumably asleep already. He’d managed to change into a comfy pair of sweats and removed his t shirt leaving himself half dressed just about to crash on the sofa when he’d heard a quiet voice from behind. _

“_Seb? You say something?” He’d asked, quietly walking over to the bed. _

_Sebastian had nodded with his eyes closed. _

“_What’s wrong? Gonna puke?” Chris’s eyes had darted to the bathroom and trash can debating which was closer - _

“_N-no just – nevermind.” A clear frown had formed between Seb’s brows, a sign that Chris knew meant something wasn’t right. _

“_No what’s up? Talk to me Seb.” He’d crouched next to where Sebastian was, facing his friend as he studied his – perfect – face and placed his right hand gently over Seb’s left knee. To his surprise the other man had opened his eyes staring straight into Chris’ own, feeling them boring into him intensely._

“_You don’t – you can have the rest of the bed I’ll just stay here I’m only small, see.” He’d made a point of folding into himself impossibly more, Chris’ heart ached at the sight. _

_As much as he desperately wanted to he hadn’t wanted to make Seb uncomfortable so had stood back up but before he could speak a hand had reached out to firmly grab his. Looking down at the sight in front of him he knew he couldn’t pull himself away. _

“_Oh – only if you’re sure? I’ll just... grab a shirt -” He had thrown it into his bag which was only a couple of feet away._

“_You don’t have to. Not going to molest you Evan’s you’re too pretty.” Seb had responded still holding Chris’ hand but had resumed to keeping his eyes closed. Well this is new. He’d thought still trying to process the events of the last few minutes. _

_Chris’ eyes had widened as he stared mouth almost agape at Sebastian’s words. It really hadn’t been the appropriate time to even contemplate flirting. Instead he’d laughed softly shaking his head. _

“_Whatever you say pal.” And with that he’d promptly let go of the hand tightly holding him to the spot and made his way around to the other side of the bed, carefully positioning himself on top of the covers leaving a decent space between them. Sebastian in turn had rolled over onto his left side to face Chris, his left hand outstretched towards Chris, who on instinct immediately had placed his right hand in the other, feeling fingers squeeze his as the other man’s lips curved into a small smile. The room was only illuminated with a soft glow of the lamp and he’d laid deadly still, hand still firmly held, his thoughts running wild. Chris had shifted onto his side, gazing as Seb slept soundly, if that was his one selfish moment to take in every detail of the person he loved then he was going to take it. He had laid awake for what felt like hours before closing his eyes and when he’d awoken sometime later feeling suddenly too warm he’d discovered the sleeping body of the other man pressed closely into his bare chest, right hand still held tight. With a quiet yet shuddering breath he’d rested his head atop his friends and reached out to brush his hand through that brunette hair he’d only dreamt of with his free hand, which had only caused Sebastian to burrow impossibly closer into him. He had known how selfish he was being but he just wanted – wanted the comfort more than anything, even if it wasn’t real. _

Whilst this memory had been on replay he’d not realised his feet had planted him firmly outside Sebastian’s door. Taking a deep breath he knocks three times hoping his friend hasn’t fallen asleep once more. Almost instantly the door opens, his gaze downcast to the floor before taking in the sight in front of him as he trails his vision from Sebastian’s fitted jeans, t shirt and finally up to his face, his eyes soft and glistening as he smiles brightly at Chris. _Holy fuck – _

“Hey.” He says softly, firm smile remaining planted on his face.

“Seb! It’s so good to see you.” The taller man responds, smile matching that of his friends.

Chris had chose to wear a classic deep blue Henley and dark grey chinos, a safe choice. His beard remains and his hair shorter as it had been but it was undoubtedly Chris. Sebastian discreetly takes in his friends appearance, _his_ Chris. Feeling his face heat up he opens the door wider feigning a cough to hide is sudden wave of arousal.

“Come in man, here let me -” He grabs the cans off of the pizza boxes and turns his back into the suite letting Chris follow. _That ass._ He shakes his head at the thought, closing the door behind him.

“So – uh I got your favourite and a couple others incase you’ve changed.” Chris voices with a shrug almost nervously as Sebastian turns to face him.

“Still a creature of habit you know me too well.” He laughs softly, walking over to take the boxes from Chris, their fingertips barely brushing yet igniting a fire low in Chris’ abdomen. He places them on the large coffee table before taking a seat on the couch yet Chris is still firmly planted only a few paces inside the room.

“You gonna just stare or help me eat these and watch a movie?” He quips, opening one of the boxes, beaming in delight when it is indeed his favourite. _Chris I love you. _

“As long as you give me a slice of yours.” Chris teases in return a mischievous grin on his face.

With a dramatic eye roll Sebastian holds a slice out, also unable to hide his smile. “I suppose so.”

Chris grins, swiftly kicking his shoes off and bounding over to the couch pressing close into Seb before quickly adjusting himself against the armrest, taking the offered slice and leaving a gap – too much – of a gap between them.

“You really came all this way to see me?” Seb asks taking a bite into his pizza, closing his eyes as he savours the perfect flavour. _God I’ve missed this._

Chris takes the moment to glance sideways as the other man has his eyes closed, who knew watching his friend consume fast food could be such a turn on. _I’m so screwed. _He thinks to himself as he swiftly reaches over to one of the other pizza boxes, conveniently placing it on his lap. “Of course man don’t be stupid, you know how important you are to me. I said I needed a break and what better excuse but to spend it with my best guy.” he pats Seb’s knee with his free hand.

Sebastian’s eyes suddenly fly open as he turns to face Chris wide eyed. “Wait – you just made them stop filming! – for me. No man -” he shakes his head staring down at his pizza box, dropping the slice into the box.

“Seb, calm down its fine.” He reassures a clearly panicked Seb. “I just haven’t felt myself lately but I really did – do miss you Seb.”

He looks back up towards Chris, smiling softly, the corners of his eyes creasing a little. “I’ve missed you too.” _If__ only you knew how much. _

Chris leans forwards to grab two beer cans off the table, handing one to Sebastian. “To pre-birthday celebrations!” He grins, knocking their drinks together, earning a laugh from the other man.

“To getting old.” He replies, taking a sip from the cold drink. “Back to the Future okay with you?” he tips his head towards the TV which has been paused.

Chris hums in response. “More than okay, whatever makes you happy.” Because its true, he’d do _anything_ to make his best friend happy and keep him safe.

They continue eating in comfortable silence for a while until they have easily demolished a pizza each and finished their beers, the movie providing a perfect distraction for Seb to steal glances at Chris as he laughs at a scene, watching his face light up is something he’ll never get tired of. Chris on the other hand is less than discrete with his glances, thus it is him who speaks up first after meeting Sebastian’s eyes during one failed attempt. “So you remember the Civil War days in this place?” He questions, turning to face the other man as he rests his back against the arm of the couch, throwing the empty pizza box on the floor and curling his legs up underneath him.

“Of course I do that’s one of the reasons I come back here.” Seb replies honestly, mirroring his friends position, their feet almost touching.

Before Chris can process his thoughts his mouth opens, words tumbling out. “You’re sweet have I ever said that.”

Sebastian chuckles softly, ducking his head to avoid Chris’ gaze as he feels the heat rising up his neck “Only like a hundred times but you can say it again.”

Chris beams in return.“Good, then you won’t get sick of it.”

Seb shakes his head not trusting words at the risk of making a fool out of himself. Silence fills the air for several moments as he turns his attention back to the film.

“You know this room is the exact room you stayed in when you was here.” his voice cuts through the room, eyes still fixed on the TV.

“It is?” Chris frowns, turning his head to look closer at the details of it. It does look awfully familiar – the décor, position of the bed, the table – he turns back to Seb “Yeah, it does now you say that.”

“This is gonna sound stupid because I know hundreds of other people have stayed here since but it makes me feel – safe? It’s stupid, nevermind.” he mumbles, avoiding Chris’ gaze at all costs.

“No its not Seb – it’s – that’s – I’m glad you do.” with a sudden inability to string a sentence together he clears his throat worried the other man will pick up on his sudden strain “That was a memorable time I’ll never forget it either.”

“Even when I decided your hand was my lifeline and wouldn’t let you go. I was such an idiot I’m sorry Chris.” Sebastian huffs a soft laugh yet it’s clear he feels anything but humoured. He runs a hand through his hair, sinking a little lower into the couch.

Without thought Chris leans forward to place a firm hand on Seb’s knee causing the other man to look up, his lips curving into a half smile. “You’re not an idiot Seb, I didn’t mind at all.” his tone reassuring as he can almost hear Sebastian’s brain working overtime.

“You didn’t?” he asks after several moments, his voice small and unsure.

See the thing was after that night nothing had ever been mentioned since; the morning after Sebastian had awoken long before Chris had even stirred and left the room to go back to his own.

“No - I – you’re my friend, best friend, Seb like I said I’d do anything to make you happy and I just wanted you to be safe that night. If you’d have told me to go away then I’d have done that, I respect you pal.”

He rolls his eyes with a wry grin on his face, knocking is right foot against Chris’ ankle, “I’d never have said that Chris, it’s you.”

Chris feels that fire reignite at the contact and realising his hand is still on the other man’s knee way longer than necessary awkwardly removes it and folds his arms over his chest turning his attention back to the forgotten movie. Through his peripheral vision he notices Seb staring almost blankly at the screen, his brow furrowed, something was up, just like that night, his face almost identical.

“Can I ask you something?” Sebastian questions several minutes later. _There it is._ Chris thinks to himself, trying to remain stoic despite feeling rather smug he could read his friend so transparently.

He turns his attention fully back to his friend. “Sure what’s up?”

“Am I enough?” Sebastian asks hesitantly, picking idly at the fabric of his jeans. _I’m not. It’s okay. I don’t deserve – _his mind full of negative thoughts, lips pressing into a tight line.

_How can he even - _“What?!” Chris all but cries out vehemently.

“Just – that photo – and I don’t know. Just recently I’ve been thinking more and more that I’m not enough.” He sighs feeling deflated, shoulders sagging.

Chris almost breaks hearing his friend – love – think so lowly of himself.

“Seb look at me.” He responds his voice firm. Sebastian looks up a few seconds later, his eyes filled with unshed emotions and just like that memory years before – exposure.

Chris shifts forward onto his knees so he’s seated slightly above where the other man has sunk impossibly further and smaller into the couch and without a thought takes both of his hands in his own, feeling them tremble slightly beneath his grasp.

“Listen to me. You are enough, so much more than enough Seb. You’ve inspired me for the last decade to be a better man, hell you still inspire me every day to _be _better, to _do_ better. Look at you, I mean it when I said you’re beautiful because you are, inside _and_ out and that’s so fucking rare. You are such a good man, your fans adore you, everyone you’ve worked with thinks you’re amazing, your friends, family we’re all so fucking proud of you and I think the world of you bud. If I can ever achieve to be half the man you are then I’ll be happy. You work so hard tirelessly putting your all into every role you’ve had. I mean look at Bucky, he barely spoke two sentences but he’s become arguably one of the biggest characters of the Marvel franchise. And that’s because of you, your talent, your skill and passion. Cap’s just a meatball in a fucking onesie throwing a glorified dustbin lid, but you, _you _have so much more depth. Filming that scene on the helicarrier felt so real, and that was all you, barely saying two words but your eyes, God your eyes man, killed me. I Tonya too, Destroyer – you’re so talented Seb. You are _so_ perfect and more than enough, you deserve the world sweet -”

He pauses mid sentence, _almost _letting the endearment slip, feeling Seb’s hands tighten in his and his shoulders shaking as he silently sheds tears, unable to hold back the emotions he’s kept to himself for months on end letting them gradually take over his every fibre but managing to keep the facade up until now.

“Hey, hey don’t cry. I’m – they all love you man for who you are, and I do too, I love you so much.” He gently strokes his thumbs over the other man’s hands in an attempt to comfort him. _Fuck it – _He thinks and pulls Seb effortlessly into his chest as he scoots back against he arm rest. Despite not being much smaller than Chris physically he feels weightless as he wraps his arms tightly around Seb’s trembling frame, bringing his left hand up to gently brush through the short hair at the nape of his neck. “It’s okay, I promise you I’m not leaving you.” He murmurs.

Sebastian remains silent apart from small whimpers escaping his lips every now and then, his hands having wound their way around Chris’ frame desperately grabbing handfuls of the man’s shirt, balling the material up tightly into his fists. After sometime, minutes – hours, the trembling subsides, the pins and needles in Chris’ legs worth the discomfort to ensure his best friend is okay, he hated seeing Sebastian upset, he may have only witnessed it a couple of times before but it sure hurt just as much this time.

“Seb? Sebby? You with me?” He whispers, scratching gently at the other man’s scalp to try and gain his attention.

Seb nods against Chris’ shirt, a wet patch having developed over his left shoulder where Seb had been crying. He pulls away slightly just enough to look up at Chris through his lashes, a couple of stray tears silently falling down his cheeks, disappearing into his stubble.

“There’s my best guy.” Chris grins. _God he’s perfect. _

Seb smiles wryly, sniffing a little as he composes himself and releases his death grip from Chris’s shirt dropping his arms limply to his sides. “Sorry its just – its been so lonely – made me think its my fault.”

The guilt Chris had been feeling returns in full force, a stab right in the chest. “No, don’t say that. It’s my fault I should have been here for you and I wasn’t, I really do think the world of you Seb.”

Sebastian shrugs. _You are my world you have no idea - _“I think the same about you Chris. You kept me going when I thought I couldn’t. I’d hoped you’d see the photo - I wanted you to see me. That – that I’ve tried my best – for you. That you still think I’m good enough to be your friend. I know I’m not the best but I try so fucking hard and just – just sometimes I think is it worth it. I forgot to shower for a couple days and fucked up on set a few times. I knew I needed time away I didn’t want anyone to see me like it. I just … wanted you.” He says the last part barely a whisper.

Chris heard. Loud. Clear.

“You’ve got me I’m right here.” He smiles sadly. “See, I’m real, right here.” and with that he gently strokes the other man’s -_perfect- _jawline with his left hand, rubbing his thumb over his lightly stubbled cheek; Sebastian, in turn, leans into the touch, closing his eyes.

“Your hands warm.” He mumbles.

Chris chuckles, “You’re like a furnace that’s probably why.”

Sebastian suddenly leans back further to rest on his knees, becoming hyper-aware of how close proximity he is to Chris’ body – _Oh god - _ he spots the wet patch through the blue of his shirt, eyes going wide in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry – I -”

Chris trails his eyes down to where his friend is staring. “Don’t apologise, it’s fine bud.” He glances over Sebastian’s shoulder to where a clock is on the wall. “Look, it’s not that late, how about we watch another movie and I’ll even let you hold my hand.” He teases lightly, knowing this was a risky thing to say.

When Sebastian doesn’t respond instantly Chris holds his breath. _Now you’ve done it. Fucked it up big time - _

“You sure about that?” Sebastian asks tentatively, fingers playing with the hem of his t-shirt.

With a firm nod and sigh of relief Chris places his hand over his friends shoulder, just like he has done plenty of times before, but this time – this time it’s a reassurance to himself not just to Seb. “Positive, come on. I’ll keep my shirt on this time though don’t worry.”

The smile on Sebastian’s face grows, almost reaching his eyes but not quite, anxiety still running through his veins. “You promise have nowhere else to be?”

Chris shakes his head fervently, giving Sebastian’s – _broad perfectly firm – _shoulder a comforting squeeze as his eyes finally meet that of the other man’s. “There is _nowhere _else I’d rather be Seb, trust me. Now am I going to have to pick you up bridal style and throw you on the bed or what.” He winks, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

Seb shakes his head, his smile _finally_ reaching his eyes. “You’re a charmer Evans that’s for sure.”

Chris lets go of Sebastian’s shoulder and shrugs nonchalantly. “They don’t call it a Boston charm for nothing.” and with that strides over to the bed jumping onto it and patting the space next to him.

Slowly Sebastian climbs off of the sofa and almost gingerly curls up next to the larger man on the bed throwing the remote onto Chris’ chest, “You pick something.” _It’s just a movie. Nothing more, you’ve done this hundreds of times before – _he plays over in his mind willing the sudden arousal stirring between his legs to disappear – which it does as soon as Chris speaks, turning to Seb with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Oh look, what’s this? The Covenant!”

_The bastard. _

Seb groans, rolling onto his side into Chris right arm, half hiding his face against his broad shoulder. _Smells so good - _

“What? It’s one of my favourite movies I’ll have you know. That Chase Collins. God, the things he could do to me.” He retorts mockingly, settling back further into the headboard, the remote far out of Sebastian’s reach.

“You’re an ass.” Seb grumbles, subconsciously shifting closer to Chris as he moves, his body chasing the contact.

“You love my ass. It’s America’s. Period.” Chris roars with laughter, his hand automatically clutching at his chest.

Sebastian can’t help the laughter that also escapes his lips. “Oh god, did I say you’re the worst too?”

“Yeah but you love me.” Chris moves his right arm so Seb is nestled into his side. He half expects the other man to move away but he doesn’t. _This is new. _He thinks, silently begging himself to not fuck it up – again.

“Okay we can watch it but I’m staying here. You’re comfy and smell good.” Sebastian sighs, audibly inhaling Chris’ scent – a mix of musky cologne, washing detergent and a smell he’d become accustomed to as just Chris. _His Chris. _

“Whatever you say pal.” He runs his right hand across the other man’s shoulders from where it’s resting, feeling the firm muscle of his upper back through the material of his shirt and for the third time that night the fire ignites across every inch of his body. _God this man is going to be the death of me. _

Sebastian hums contentedly at the feeling, tension easily fading from his shoulders at the touch. _Please put your hands all over me. _He lets himself savour the feeling for several moments before speaking up. “I’m not Bucky you know, my memory _is _in one piece, because I’m pretty sure you said that before...”

“Not unless you’ve been brainwashed.” Chris jokes, his hand continuing to make its way across his friends back.

“Hail HYDRA.” He mock whispers, giggling to himself. “My brain hurts though.” he mumbles, throwing his right arm over Chris’s abdomen, once again grasping a handful of his shirt immediately like a child with a treasured comfort blanket, his fingers tracing along Chris’s bare skin as he grasps the soft material, which, in turn, elicits an involuntary shiver from the older man.

Sebastian notices this movement. “You cold?”

“How can I be I’m being side tackled by a human hot water bottle.” He deadpans in reply.

Sebastian settles into silence, remaining nestled into Chris’s side as the movie continues. After a while he raises his head to put it on Chris chest, turning his eyes towards the TV.

“Oh god, why did I have to look up now” He groans. It’s the scene where Chase hovers over Caleb and grabs him by the face kissing him hard on the mouth.

Chris chuckles, the rumbles vibrating through Seb’s body. “What? Just bros being bros. I wouldn’t have complained.”

Seb rolls his eyes. “Yeah right.”

“I mean it -” Chris hesitates.

Seb tilts his head upwards, his face incredibly close to Chris’s, their lips mere inches apart, he licks his lower lip before speaking, for once not noticing Chris’s gaze dart down to the subtle movement.

He narrows his eyes at Chris momentarily “So you’re saying – if Bucky just planted one right on Steve’s mouth in that helicarrier scene you’d have been cool with it.”

He struggles to form a sentence, choking on his own words. “Well – I mean -”

“Yeah I thought so.” Seb tilts his head back down to watch the screen, his voice noticeably strained and body suddenly tenser.

“If it was you then- yes.” Chris mumbles a few minutes later. _Well done Evans you dumbass. Couldn’t keep your mouth shut for one godamn minute. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Much appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is purely as fictional as fiction comes.
> 
> I mean who wouldn't want a piece of Lance Tucker?

“_If it was you then- yes.” Chris mumbles a few minutes later. Well done Evans you dumbass. Couldn’t keep your mouth shut for one godamn minute. _

Sebastian becomes rigid, the hand holding Chris shirt pulling at it slightly. _He what. He just. No. Did he? Oh god - _“What -” His voice wavers.

Chris groans, regretting his decision to even open his – _stupid – _mouth. “It doesn’t matter Seb, don’t worry.”

Sebastian peels himself away from Chris’s side, sitting up straighter to be level with the other man. “No, no, you just said -”

“It doesn’t matter what I said.” Chris replies sharply, his words cutting like a knife as he throws his head back against the headboard and closing his eyes.

“I know – but -what if..” Sebastian eyes roam over Chris’s – _flawless -_face whilst the other man has his eyes closed. His incredible eyelashes, perfectly angled jawline covered in a surprisingly soft looking beard and his lips – _God his lips – __c_onveniently Sebastian’s thoughts are interrupted just as his body starts to respond to the thought of what his friends mouth could do to him.

“But what Seb? What if every scene we filmed I wanted to kiss you – Bucky – you – I don’t know what the fuck I mean.” He says, voice harsh as he tugs at his hair frustratedly. “All I know is every scene we filmed, especially the helicarrier all I wanted to do was grab you by the -” Suddenly his lips are covered with a pair – _Sebastian’s_ – lips, Sebastian’s kissing him – his lips soft as they press against Chris’, as soon as he registers the sensation the other man pulls back almost instantly, staring at Chris with wide fearful eyes.

“I – I’m so – I didn’t – please Chris -” he attempts to push himself away from Chris’s large frame and off of the bed but is stopped abruptly by a large hand tightly grasping his left forearm to the point it hurts.

“Seb stop.” Chris demands, his voice powerful and eyes dark with _Lust? Anger? _which in turn causes Seb to freeze mid panic, slumping back into Chris’s body almost laying across his chest.

Chris loosens his grip on the brunettes forearm, but ensuring his presence is still there. “Please - please tell me if what I’m about to do is wrong because I’m terrified I’m about to fuck this up - I don’t – you – you’re just – fuck.” He groans exasperatedly. Yet it is Sebastian’s quiet but sure voice that brings him out of is conflict.

“You can kiss me Chris.”

With that Chris surges forward surprisingly gently pressing his lips to the other man's, who in response turns his body pressing into Chris’s chest and reaches up with his right hand to grasp as Chris’ bearded jawline – _it is soft – _pulling him closer by the nape of his neck as their lips move in sync – not rushed, not desperate but loving. As Sebastian parts his lips tentatively, inviting Chris further he can’t help the moan that escapes as the other man’s tongue almost cautiously touches his own, something he’d only fantasised about for _years_. His own grip tightens around Sebastian’s waist where his hands had come to rest. After minutes – hours – they break apart, the need for oxygen exceeding their need to explore each others mouths. Chris rests his forehead against Sebastian’s who eyes remain closed but a warm glow clear on his cheeks. Eventually he opens his eyes, staring straight into the darkened blue orbs in front of him.

“You’re not the only one who thought that Chris – you’re just – you’re you – and.” He says breathlessly, partly from lack of oxygen partly from a sudden wave of fear at what’s to come. It’s not everyday your best friend of a decade just gives you the best kiss of your life.

Chris huffs a soft laugh, bringing one hand up to rest lightly over Sebastian’s cheek. “And you’re you.”

Seb rolls his eyes, pushing himself off of the firm chest he was currently pressed into, needing some distance from Chris as he sits to mirror his position against the headboard, eyes fixed forward towards the forgotten movie.

“I’m serious Chris, I don’t just -” He sighs, drawing in a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t just go around doing this -” he gestures between them. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to fuck this up I – I can’t lose you Chris, I need you. If you just kissed me to try to make me feel better then just be honest because I don’t know what I’ll do if that meant nothing to you. Bros being bros and all that shit.” He air marks, mimicking what Chris had said earlier that night.

Taken aback Chris remains silent for several moments, anxiety rapidly building as his shoulders tense.

“Was you not listening to what I said? I said I don’t want to fuck this up either because last time I checked I don’t just do this either. Fuck this – I’m just – I wanted – I want to kiss you, I have done for so long but I’m such a fucking pathetic coward I didn’t because I thought – I think – you deserve better Seb. Hell you thought it was your fault when I’m the one being a shitty friend I can’t even get that right.” He presses the palms of hands into his eyes, attempting to take a steadying breath. Now was_ not _the time to give himself a panic attack.

But as always his knight in shining armour spots the signs almost instantly. Sebastian grabs both of Chris’s wrists pulling them away from his face and down to his lap, keeping a firm, yet not painful grip on them. He knew from past experience one of ways to help bring Chris out of a bad moment was through touch, a grounding sensation.

“Hey, Chris – look at me. Breathe with me.” He instructs in a firm yet comforting tone. After a minute or so the other man’s chest is still heaving so he squeezes their now joined hands a little firmer causing Chris to open his eyes. “That’s it just take deep breaths, I’m right here.” He urges, rubbing soothing circles over Chris’s knuckles down to his wrists.

“You didn’t fuck up okay? I’m scared too, this is all so – crazy. But I need my best guy too, you aren’t a coward you hear me? You’re anything but and you mean the world to me.” A faint blush creeps up Chris’ neck as Sebastian continues to speak. “I wasn’t angry at you if that’s what you’re thinking. I could never be angry at you, even when you used to burst in my trailer to drag me out of bed stupidly early just to watch you on set.” He smiles fondly at the memories. “I’d do anything because its you and that’s all that matters to me. Kissing you – cuddling you is something I’ve kept in the deepest darkest part of my mind for years I just – I never thought you’d see me that way you’re not -

Chris cuts him off. “I know – I don’t know _who_ I am – I just know that I only want you and I have done since we filmed the first Cap movie.”

_Did he just oh my god - _A harsh intake of breath escapes Seb’s lips as he all but breathes out the other man’s name. “Chris…”

Chris shakes his head reverently with a sigh, his eyes still downcast and brow furrowed. “Don’t- I know its been like ten years. It’s stupid and now look where it’s got us.”

Sebastian chuckles softly, shrugging nonchalantly yet a playful smile on his lips growing. “I mean I quite like where I am…”

Chris rolls his eyes unable to hide his own smile as he meets Sebastian’s gaze for the first time.

“If it means anything I’ve been giving you what Mackie calls “heart eyes” for the same amount of time.” Seb laughs dryly, recounting the amount of times he’d been wound up by his friend for his sickeningly sweet heart eyes and pining over Chris.

“I thought you was just being friendly..” Chris responds in disbelief. _He actually likes me. He. Likes. Me. _His thoughts running wild like a kid with a crush in the playground or finally getting asked to prom by that _one _person.

“I don’t go around wanting to kiss everyone.. just you Chris.” Sebastian replies sweetly, his lips curling into a shy smile.

Chris’s eyebrows raise almost comically as he gives the other man a questioning look, trying to form a sentence. “Can I do it again? I’m – I’m so scared Seb I cant fuck this up. I cant lose you -” he feels himself begin to panic.

Sebastian releases both his hands from Chris’s and in an uncharacteristically burst of confidence – _What the hell am I doing__ – _climbs to straddle Chris’ lap fully, the weight of him grounding Chris but also giving him no choice to look at the man currently invading his personal space. Chris glances up raising an eyebrow as he tentatively places both his hands gently on Seb’s waist, his fingers flexing under the feel of the soft tanned skin from where the other man’s t-shirt had ruched up of its own accord.

He leans down to bring their faces closer together. “And I can’t lose you. You’re my stupidly bright Boston sunshine, my Captain, best friend,_ my_ Chris and I’m not letting anyone take you away from me.” his eyes darken, as do Chris’ at hearing the newly found possessiveness in his friends voice.

“So I can...” Chris murmurs, inching his face forward ever so slightly.

Seb rolls his eyes. “You gonna ask me every time because its yes.”

Chris squeezes Seb’s waist affectionately, their lips meeting once again in a slow, heated kiss, the nerves from before fading as their tongues clash eliciting a moan from both men, Sebastian bringing both hands up to cup the bearded face in front of him. Chris in turn lets his hands wander further up the firm muscle of the other man’s back, scraping his blunt nails along the warm tanned skin, which seems to only please and arouse Seb impossibly more as he presses himself flush with Chris, chest to groin, the arousal of each men becoming apparent as their hard lengths press together – _Fuck – _they both think in unison, Sebastian testing the waters by grinding himself down into Chris’s lap, causing the taller man to moan desperately into his mouth which only encourages Sebastian to bite at his lower lip before trailing gentle kisses along his jawline and below his ear, dragging his teeth over the sensitive skin, smirking against the spot as Chris elicits what can only be described as an animalistic strangled cry, his hips thrusting up on their own accord, desperate for more friction, more _anything. _

“You like that sweetheart?” Seb all but purrs, a wicked grin plastered over his face as he lifts his head up to meet Chris’s, both of their eyes mirroring one another, pupils dilated and impossibly dark filled with arousal, lust and desire.

Chris can only nod, staring back at Sebastian lustfully as he slowly, so _tortuously _slowly, runs his hands up Seb’s -_perfectly holy fuck - _ toned abdomen, his muscles tensing beneath Chris’ warm, large hands. He suddenly lets out an involuntary cry, throwing his head back with pleasure as Chris’s thumb and forefinger take one of his nipples, squeezing and flicking experimentally, before moving to the other, whilst his other hand runs up and down his abs, revelling at the light covering of soft hair.

“C-Chris-” Seb moans, breathing heavy, eyes closed as his head tips forward.

“Something wrong?” Chris hums, his right hand now resting on the waistband of Sebastian’s jeans, an obvious bulge straining at the zipper.

“No, god no, fuck – feels so good, dreamt of this so long -” He pants, pressing his hips further into Chris’s hand, aching for more.

“You know I’ve never really -” Chris makes a point of lowering his hand and pressing his palm flat against the other mains achingly hard length.

“F-fuck, are you sure? Because you’re doing everything right so far.”

Chris chuckles a little nervously. “I just hope what feels good for me feels good for you, I’ve never done – you know – things like that – I want to – with you. I want everything.”

Seb’s heart swells. “I want everything too Chris, but we have time, so much time.” He lovingly places one hand over Chris’ cheek, stroking the soft bristles.

Chris nods understandingly. “Does that mean I don’t – I uh – can’t -”

“Just tell me sweetheart what do you want?” He asks, his expression open with a hint of curiosity.

Chris’s face heats up at the name. Not going unnoticed by Sebastian. _Jesus he’s adorable. _“You like being called that huh?”

Chris nods “Never been called it before, nobody ever really -” Sebastian presses a chaste kiss to his lips, an understanding.

“I want to touch you, can I?” Chris asks his voice a little unsure despite how he’s trying to feign his nerves.

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, unable to hide the smirk at the corner of his lips. “Whatever you’re comfortable with Chris, just talk to me I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You couldn’t Seb, I trust you. I want this, us.” He gestures between them, both his arms now coming to rest once again on the other man’s smaller waist.

Sebastian beams in reply, sitting himself back a little away from Chris who whines at the loss of contact. _Please don’t go - _

As if reading his mind Sebastian’s voice breaks through his thoughts “I’m not going anywhere I promise you.” He scans his eyes over Chris’s face once more before pulling at the hem of his grey tee and in one swift motion throws it onto the floor. He turns back to Chris’s who’s staring, mouth agape, eyes clearly roaming ravenously over Sebastian’s body, who, despite his sudden confidence feels a little exposed.

And in turn it is Chris who seems to sense this. “Beautiful, I mean it Seb look at you.” He says almost in awe as he brings his right arm up to trace the visible vein down Sebastian’s arm, something that had –_ embarrassingly – _become his kryptonite. Sebastian blushes furiously, his previous confidence replaced with a weak nervous feeling only Chris could cause. He tugs at the hem of the blue Henley, scratching his nails over Chris’s lower abdomen, feeling course hairs beneath his touch.

“I think – this should come off, don’t you?” He grins slyly, leaning forward a little to give his hand space to roam down to where an evident bulge is still present in Chris’ pants, squeezing a little, the covered length giving an interested twitch at the contact.

“Y-yeah, yeah okay, scoot back a little.” Chris breathes, his muscles tensing at the jolt of arousal.

Sebastian obeys and reluctantly releases his hand, letting both rest on his thighs. Chris takes in the sight before him –_ those arms, hands, his chest – fuck his thighs – his – _Chris eye’s settle on the front of Sebastian’s jeans – _I want it. _And with that he hastily pulls of his shirt, albeit not as smooth as the man staring at him with dark, heavy eyes.

_Fuck me. _Sebastian thinks as he blatantly repeats Chris’s actions, hungrily roaming his eyes over the body he’s only dreamt of touching. The tattoos – _Holy shit – _he can’t help but reach out to touch the large text standing out against Chris’s clavicle. His kryptonite.

“You like those?” Chris asks intrigued, quirking an eyebrow.

“All of them.” Seb replies, his voice hoarse. “I know we’ve seen each other like this before but I never thought – I never imagined I’d get to do this.” He makes a point of running both hands across the paler broad body, tracing each tattoo idly with his fingers. Chris remains silent, watching the other man’s every move as he intently focuses on each curve and sharp line of the ink. _God I love him – _he muses, focusing on the flex and tension of his biceps and abs yet the delicate touch of his long fingers, softer than he’d ever imagined.

“You do now. They’re – I’m all yours to touch.” He replies, his voice suddenly gravelly.

The fire burns bright in Sebastian’s eyes, playful smirk on his face as he leans down, bare chests touching. “All mine.” He purrs, leaning right into Chris’s ear, arms either side of his head but pulling away just enough to lightly lick at the shell of his ear, flicking his tongue over the rapidly increasing pulse point.

Chris nods, the power of the other man once again serving as a – _surprisingly – _big turn on. Without hesitation whilst Sebastian is preoccupied he reaches a hand down in the space between them, his fingers easily undoing the button of the tight black jeans, with the zipper following moments later. Sebastian still seemingly unaware continues to leave bite marks down Chris’s neck, licking deliberately over each one, humming contentedly at his work, that is until – _Holy shit fuck fuck me - _ he feels a large hand wrap around his length. He quickly leans back to discover Chris looking up at him innocently.

“Something the matter?” He asks, desperately trying to hide his signature shit eating grin.

“N-no – Fuck!” He moans as the hand on his length twists, a thumb rubbing over the mildly darkening head. He finally looks down to see that Chris had successfully managed to pull his achingly hard cock not just free of his jeans but boxers as well – _That sly bastard. _

“Can – can you take these off for me?” Chris asks, albeit a little apprehensive, his confidence faltering slightly.

“I’m not the only one getting naked Evans.” He retorts and heaves himself off of Chris, pulling his jeans and boxers the remainder of the way, leaving Chris laying on the bed staring hungrily at the man before him, incredibly hard cock aching to be touched. He may not have been overly confident about himself but he always liked to believe his – manhood- was enough to please – uncut and of a decent length and girth, curving upwards just enough leaving little dark hair at the base. _Thank god the Lance Tucker days were a thing of the past - _

“Holy shit.” Chris thinks out loud.

“Is.. is this okay?” Seb asks, self doubt trying to work its way into his head.

“Are you shitting me? You’re fucking incredible. Gimme that gold Stan.” Chris gawks, trying – and failing – to hold the laugher erupting from his lips.

Sebastian stands staring at him with an incredulous look on his face. _You’ve got to be kidding me. _“Did you just – The Bronze?! You’ve – I swear to fucking god if you’ve -”

“Oh – _oh – _I’ve seen it.” Chris winks. “Came so hard watching that – fuck you can pummel my horse any day.” He deadpans.

“You’re fucking unbelievable.” Sebastian grumbles, yet smiling widely.

Chris crawls to the edge of the bed, sitting on his knees, letting his hands roam over the other man’s bare body, giving his length a teasingly slow stroke and reaching down to gently rub his balls.

“C-Chris, sweetheart, you got about thirty seconds before I rip those pants off of you.”

Chris hastily stands, removing his own clothing leaving them both standing facing each other, naked, exposed.

Sebastian suddenly feeling shy reaches down blindly, maintaining eye-contact with the taller man whilst following down his body, past his abs, hips, gasping lightly as his hand clasps around Chris’s equally hard cock – _Fucking hell - _

“Am.. am I good enough?” Chris asks his voice suddenly small.

“Fucking – holy shit – God Chris – you’re.” Seb’s lips curve into a playful smirk. “I’m liking the angle of the dangle.” _Two can play at this game. _He thinks smugly watching as Chris’s eyes’ widen in shock. “You -”

“Oh I’ve been there – came to that. Don’t Stop Believing hasn’t been the same since.” He winks in return before finally looking down at the – _impressive – _cock in his hand. Slightly larger and redder than his own, pre-come already threatening to coat his fingers. He takes a step forward into Chris’s space, closely watching his face to ensure he doesn’t show signs of becoming uncomfortable as he wraps his hand best he can around both of their hard lengths.

“Fucking – shit that feels good.” Chris groans, dropping his head to the Sebastian’s shoulder, discretely glancing down at the sight below. _Why have we never done this before - _

Sebastian just smirks, bringing his other hand up to his mouth, wrapping his tongue around his fingers, sucking on them before releasing them, covered in saliva and replacing the hand on their lengths. Chris almost jumps at the touch, eyebrows darting up to his hairline at feeling the slickness as the other man’s hand strokes them both languidly.

“Wanna lay down for me?” He asks, not really giving Chris a choice as he uses his free arm to push at Chris’s sternum. _Mine. Mine. Mine. _He repeats to himself, his strokes increasing a little.

“Y-yeah of course.” As the backs of his knees hit the bed Sebastian lets go of their painfully hard lengths allowing Chris to lay down against the headboard, legs slightly apart.

“Come back.” He whines holding out his arms for the other man, desperate for contact and also to not feel so exposed like a prey animal being hunted.

Sebastian all but lunges at Chris, seamlessly throwing his legs either side of the large body beneath him, moaning instantly at the contact of their cocks brushing against each other.

“This okay?” He asks – _It better be – _lowering himself against Chris’ chest so they are flush together, only supporting himself with his arms braced behind Chris’ head.

Chris instantly reaches a large hand up to wrap around Sebastian’s neck crashing their lips together, the other man making a surprised squeak –_ The fuck was that Stan – _his tongue instantly seeking entrance into Sebastian’s mouth, which to his delight is granted immediately, their mouths moving in sync, hearts pounding from just a kiss. He nibbles Sebastian’s lip, biting at the swollen flesh before running his tongue over to soothe the skin - _I wonder – _and pulls at the hair on the back of the brunettes head bringing his jawline and neck level with his mouth. The response and moan that escapes Sebastian’s lips gives him the confidence to grip a little tighter, controlling the angle of his head.

“Fuck Chris – uh – s’good -” He groans, grinding his hips down into Chris’s, desperate for some friction_. __How the fuck does he know what I like clever prick – _Sebastian thinks to himself, his length becoming almost unbearably painful neglected of touch.

Chris pauses momentarily. “You like that?” He feels Sebastian nod from beneath his tight grip, encouraging him to continue, albeit hesitant he’s about to fuck up.

“Gonna be a good boy for me?”

Sebastian’s eyes fly wide open, staring directly into Chris’s who has an unreadable expression on his face. “Always Chris. Always anything for you. Please – Please Chris - just -” he begs, chest heaving.

Chris breathes out a sigh of relief simultaneously as a wave of arousal travels straight down to his cock at hearing Sebastian beg. “What baby?”

“Touch me please.” The other man cries, wrapping his hands around Chris’s biceps firmly to steady himself.

Chris presses a chaste kiss to Sebastian’s lips, his hand wrapping around his neck once again before rolling them over in one swift movement, pinning the other man to the bed as his larger body covers the tanned skin.

“Fuck – you -” Seb chokes, staring up at Chris with wide, almost blackened eyes. _If I die now I’ll be happy. _

Chris strokes a gentle soothing hand down his lovers side. “Ssh- gonna – want to make you feel good -”

Seb nods eagerly as Chris lifts one arm up, using his other to brace himself over the marginally smaller man, and brings it to his reddened swollen lips, gently rubbing his thumb along Sebastian’s lower lip – who – immediately takes the hint and wraps his tongue around Chris’s fingers.

“Fuck.” Chris groans, taking a few shuddering breaths.

Sebastian lets his fingers go with one last thorough lick of the digits. Chris – albeit with a shaky breath- lowers his hand between them grasping at both their rock hard lengths.

“That’s – that’s it – more Chris-” Seb throws his head back into the pillows, eyes firmly closed as his chest heaves a light sheen of sweat covering.

Chris experimentally thrusts his hips into his hand, unable to contain the moan that escapes from deep within at the sensation. Sebastian continues to lay back, his lips parted as small broken noises escape, almost pitiful moans.

“You gonna let go, spill your load all over my cock?” Chris breathes heavily, having sped his hand up and thrusts in time, Sebastian’s own meeting each thrust, the sensation almost unbearable as each man is pushed closer towards their climax.

“S’ fucking close. Don’t stop.” Seb groans, opening his eyes to look down at their reddened saliva and pre-come covered lengths, the sight alone almost making him come undone there and then as he lets his eyes trail up to Chris’ face – _Holy – God – _He’s staring intensely, his eyes darker than he’s ever seen.

“Such a good boy look at you so hard for me.” He drawls and twists his hand, rubbing more pre-come over both of their lengths.

Sebastian can only nod, words failing him as he feels the familiar heat rapidly building.

“Come for me baby, let go.” Chris urges, his thrusts becoming slightly erratic – a sign he too is on the edge.

“Fuck – Fuck – Chris – I’m – Oh god -” With one flick of his wrist Sebastian finally lets go, white stripes covering Chris’ hand, their cocks and his own stomach as he comes harder than he can ever remember, his chest heaving and cock pulsing in Chris’ hand.

“Shit – Seb – I -” Chris chokes out, eyes shut tight, suddenly stilling as Sebastian feels hot spurts cover his chest and abdomen, opening his eyes to see Chris slowly stroking himself through his orgasm, sweat beading on his forehead and this thighs visibly shaking at the sensation. He reaches out to gently run his fingers down Chris’ arm still bracing himself up, _just about_, that too is trembling.

“Hey, Chris you with me?” He says softly, moving his arms to rub comfortingly down Chris’ thighs.

Chris opens his eyes looking down at Seb as he lets go of both of their now softening lengths. “Holy shit – I’ve never – was that okay?” He asks hesitantly, _of course, _putting the other man first.

Sebastian huffs out an amused chuckle. “Chris I’ve never come so fucking hard in my life. That was incredible honestly, _you_ are incredible.”

Chris looks down bashfully, the darkness fading replaced with wetness glazing his eyes.

“Hey none of that, now.” Seb reaches his left arm out hooking his t-shirt with his finger off of the floor and using it to wipe over his body and grabs Chris’ hand to wipe that too. Instantly Chris leans down to press his lips to the other man’s, ever so gently, the fire from the previous kiss gone but replaced with a loving, caring emotion only both of them feel. He pulls back after several minutes, keeping his face mere inches from Sebastian’s.

“Thank you – For – for trusting me and letting me make you feel good -”

Seb shakes his head. “Are you sure you’ve never done that before?”

With a firm nod Chris responds. “Absolutely.. I mean I’ve watched a few things and imagined what it’d be like – with you – a lot.” He laughs nervously.

“Maybe you’ll have to share what else you’ve dreamt of.” Sebastian winks, trailing his fingers down the course hair covering the larger man’s chest.

_Yes! YES!_ Chris all but screams in his mind, yet more successfully this time remaining stoic. “Oh – if – you’d want that?”

“Chris, I want everything with you I meant what I said.” Seb replies earnestly. “We have all the time.”

Unable to string a sentence together Chris just nods, a beaming smile gracing his lips. They remain silent for several minutes just taking one another in as much as they can, every imperfection, scar, flecks of colour in each others eyes before Chris carefully climbs off of Sebastian and comes to lay by his right side resting his head on the Romanians tanned chest.

“Chris?” Sebastian whispers, turning his head into the other man.

Chris hums in reply.

“Will you – will you stay?” He replies, his voice small – _Please stay – _he silently begs.

Chris angles his head up towards Seb. “I’m never leaving you Seb. I mean it. I want to stay for as long as you’ll have me.”

Without a thought he replies “How does till the end of the line sound?”

Chris chuckles softly. “Till the end of the line. But this time with no time travel and shit.”

Sebastian hums in agreement, squeezing Chris’ bicep. “Just here and now.”

Chris nods pressing himself closer into Sebastian’s side, closing his eyes as a pleasant tiredness overcomes him.

“Do you need something to wear?” Sebastian speaks up sensing Chris’ body relax into a slumber next to him.

Chris’ face heats up a the sudden realisation he is in fact still completely naked. “Shit – yeah – I didn’t really pack much, I kind of just came off set and here – got the clothes I had on and my phone.”

Seb’s eyes widen in surprise. “You didn’t say that.”

Chris shrugs. “I guess it just means we have to stay here for a little longer – together – if that’s okay with you.”

“That’s all I’ve wanted – want – Chris.” He reaches out to give his hand a comforting squeeze.

Chris smiles contentedly back. “But I guess I’ll let you pick the movie next time.”

Sebastian thinks about it for a moment. “Hm, maybe I won’t – maybe The Covenant is my favourite movie after all.”

Chris chuckles softly. “Come on lets get into bed.”

Sebastian nods willingly. “Just gonna go to bathroom – there’s clothes in my case – over there.” He points to the large case open against the side of the room and peels himself off of Chris before disappearing into the bathroom.

Staring into the mirror he takes in his dishevelled – sex ruffled – appearance noticing several deep purple bruises forming on his neck, he runs his fingers over them lightly, revelling in the feeling of what's just happened. _Holy fuck – Chris – he’s – we’re - _ he struggles to even think straight. Quickly finishing in the bathroom he enters back into the bedroom to find Chris rummaging – stark naked- through his case -

“What you looking for Cap?” he teases coming up to stand behind the other man, appreciating the view.

“Aha!” and with that Chris triumphantly pulls out a pair of Calvin Klein boxers.

Seb rolls his eyes, finding another pair and quickly putting them on.

“You know, these may not last long -” Chris teases, pulling Sebastian closer by the waistband, already palming over the front of them

Seb sucks in a sharp breath “Oh really now?” He quirks an eyebrow.

Chris suddenly picks Sebastian up bridal style, as previously warned, and launches him onto the bed, causing the other man to land with a thud, pillows scattering.

“The hell!” He wheezes, grabbing at his chest as a burst of laughter escapes his lips. _He’s such a dumbass. But that ass though – _before he lets his thoughts run away the bed dips beside him.

“That’s the old Boston charm for you.” Chris winks settling beside Sebastian in to their previous position.

“You’re lucky it works” Seb grumbles, feigning annoyance.

“I love you.” _Oh shit. Evans. Shut your fucking mouth – _Chris lays rigidly against the warm body he’s pressed into.

Seb promptly sits up at Chris’ side, leaving him laying deadly still staring at nothing in particular. “Are you – you -”

_Its too late now. _

With a deep breath Chris rolls onto his back staring up at the ceiling only briefly glancing towards the man he loves. “I – I love you Seb, for all that you are. I’m – and have been – ridiculously in love with you for so many days now I’ve lost count -”

Sebastian interjects. “About three thousand days.. that’s like eight years.”

Chris heart swells feeling as though it’s going to pound out of his chest as the realisation sets in at what the other man means.

“You – you do – you.”

Seb nods. “I love you too Chris, three thousandand -”

Chris launches himself at Seb, kissing him with all the love he can give, pulling him tight into his chest and them both under the covers, wrapping his arms tightly around the body he’s so desperately wanted for so long, and never plans on letting go. Words aren’t needed; just the feeling of each other, the safety, comfort, protection and most importantly the love they have for one another. Falling asleep almost instantly they hold onto each other with Sebastian nestled tight into Chris’ chest, strong arms grounding them both. Talking could wait until tomorrow.

Suddenly turning thirty seven doesn’t seem so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that- for now. Any reads are really appreciated. Kudos and comments = anxious excitement

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats for getting through this thanks for reading!- kudos and comments are always welcome though


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